THANKSGIVING

I watch the weight of the snow that's crushing

the tree until its bent and almost blushing

this cardinal's perched on the end of the branch and

my wint'ry childhood has found that it can't stand

on the weight of my knees, the lies of the bees

whisp'rin their sweet nothings,hoping for the time that's coming

oh before me

its a whore speaking

through her blackened teeth

methamphetamine smiles

as she holds up her child

and gives thanks to the drugs

I give thanks to the world

she gives thanks to the drugs

It's a murder of crows that feeds on the roadkill

its a gaggle of geese that meets that rifles spill

to put food on the dinner plate, food in their mouth

chewed on for better taste, spewed all about

The sparrow fails to reproduce, it has no more children

the squirrel finds it acorn and lives through the winter

oh i'm sorry

its a carp drowning

tangled in the algae

anaerobic chains

as the pisciform strains

and gives thanks to the factories

i give thanks to the world

it gives thanks to the factories

Jack see a woman on the floor before he

Jill sees a man that used to adore she

before his anger surfaced and showed that ugly side

before the red took a hold of him and pushed her aside

now she's on her knees at the church that married them

he's on his back with the ceiling caving in

oh excuse me

its a priest praying

in his starched-up collar

with his lips full of gloss

as he holds up the cross

and gives thanks to his god

i give thanks to the world

he gives thanks to his god

once more we go back to the falling snow

twice more we forget the wounds as they show

its a fresh start the best part the rebuilt heart the scattered flow

of the world born anew

the freshly frozen dew has taken its place at the helm of this sinking ship

oh exactly

what was it you were saying

you have found the truth this time

with your book on theodicy

blind to the truth you seek

you give thanks to the face you've forgotten

I give thanks to the world

you give thanks to the face you've forgotten

DEATH OF THE MOON

the son led his armies against the moon

that crescent evil that had infiltrated his land of purity

murdered his people and attempted to bring down those steeples

that he called home

he threw a lasso into the sky

claiming his god-given right for justice

and caught a hold of that heavenly body as it orbited by

but there were unforseen consequences of his brashness

he had no landing site for the wreckage

no way to protect his people from catastrophe

his miscalculation was immense

defense was no longer an option

and as the son murdered the moon

the moon slayed his people

both sides were burned up in the war

both sides forgot what it was that they were fighting for

and as the moon murdered the son

the son slayed its people

it was lunar homicide, it was adolescent lunacy

it was blackness in a future we're soon to see

the smoke rose on the horizon framing a city that burned

ashes to ashes dust to dust life to death

all that was had come to pass

and the remainder were forced to stare into the slobbering maw of the future

The son, he was mute here,

left his tooth bare,

shattered the world and erected his truth cairn

he buried the moon in the wreckage

those that thought it was too soon, death met them

and carried them away to Styx

Hellbound and unbelieving, the infidels were swept up

in the hysteria of a country forgetful of its past, its foundation

the concept of freedom that they claimed had been taken from them

but it was not liberty they wanted, it was death to the oppposition

graves for the violation,

of their beliefs

they burned the moon's temples

blasphemed its name

cat's screamed in shame

of the murder that took place before them

they slaughter baby rabbits with no remorse,

but this, this carnage

it was too much for them to bear

too much blood spilt for the son of man

too much spilt in the name of peace

peace that never came

for the son abandoned those left behind

those that did not die for his cause

left to rebuild this world they were

for there father

who was in heaven

hallowed be his name

his kingdom come

his will be done

on earth as it was in heaven

rebirth was a work of fiction

they cried in the fallout with no choices left

no phoenix, no jesus, no fantasy to take them away

I WALK

i walk

as if the weight of the world

has fallen from my shoulders

as if my life has been reborn

in this moment

right here

right now

i walk

away from a past that changed me

shattered what i was once

away from a time when i never

really knew what truly lurked inside me

i walk

towards those eyes that beckon me

into a world that i have never seen

towards a feeling that has lain dormant

for far too long

dried

dusty

i walk into happiness

that nervous tick back in my stomach

that feeling of uncertainty sitting heavy

the only real knowledge of what it is to be alive

PARALYSIS

in a time before now

a life before this

i was paralyzed from the heart down

the accident played out before me

as if the my world was going black

it was one continuous wreck

three cars on deck

and i was broken upon impact

yet somehow i managed to be the rubbernecker

I watched the car approach from my right

at a time when i was too young to care about consequences

and only my loins were the ones making sense of it

she was the cause of it all

but i couldn't let her take me down solo

i was too selfish for such things and i knew i could add to the death toll so

i swerved to my left and into oncoming traffic

where i found a victim of my own

the three of us burned

the decree of one spurned

spit the undeniable pain of the flames lapping on my feet

shrieking felines in heat make a more pleasant noise

then the shell of my car collapsing

the scream of my body going numb

but thats a lie

i didn't scream

i didn't struggle

i'm not ever sure if i uttered a sound

i

hesitated

kicked up my feet

sipped on my cocktail

and let the eight years of sadness

turn into unending madness

as i absorbed the pain

shrugged off the damages

and figured, no one likes a whiner

but by god did my insides burn

and then... i found those insides

scattered on the pavement with chunks of metal and shards of glass

the ravens fed on what little was left

picked through the aftermath

bathed in what was left of my innards

and it was at this point in my life that i thought my paralysis was complete

i thought the accident had left me in a state of broken hollowness that had no future

fear crept through me

it had been so long since my heart had functioned and i was sure it would never feel again

i thought it was splattered on the sidewalk

lost to this world

i thought it had dried up in my chest

adorned with cute little cobwebs

i thought the passion was gone

or never even there to begin with

but i thought wrong

on a friday not that long ago

i do believe i felt my heart beat

it was faint and it was fleeting

but damn was it real

and it was all because of you

you have given my heart a reason to open its valves

a reason to flood my system with that force i know we need to survive

i know i need to get through one more day

but how do i tell you

how do i let you know about this strange feeling

that is mute when i'm around you

that refuses to leave my vocal chords

do i sit here in silence

or do i grab my balls

and plant a kiss upon your lips

BELLY OF THE SERPENT

we move through the womb of a snake

racing sideways in the loins of this creature past its prime

it traps us in its xenophobic shell

but we laugh it off as we bask in the frigid air of progress

allowing the metal cages and the shriek and squeal of the rats

to encase us

to guide us onwards into the doom spiral

we are vomitted out onto the splattered streets

the bird shattered boardwalks

the antiseptic sump that becomes salt water

becomes recreation

the beer flows like hot grease

and everything fries beneath the caustic sun

corn dogs, tacos, and buttered corn consume our minds

and fill us with a joy that is unexplainable

for the blight creeps all around and all over us

it changes us

it breeds upon us

and we do not shy away

this is life

my feet sink deeper into the sand

causing the castle to grow

helping the buzz begin

then we find ourselves a quick reprieve

crowds sports sweet succulent hot dogs

and then we're back to the sand

my buzz deepens as joy flows through our sweat into broken plastic

and darkness falls upon our party

the day ends with fried chicken back in the belly of the serpent

this day was life for the sake of life

debauchery for the sake of sin

and big "fuck you" held out to the society of ethics

CHAFF AND THE GRAIN

the images of a dying past float by as if nothing has changed

they deceive in their repitition

misinform with indiscretion

and all i can do is stare

i watch the smiles the frowns the drunken faces

as they jangle past my vision

i yearn for a return to that world which i never really inhabited

that world that could have been mine but i chose differently

the past is all lies

its what we reconstruct

its what we wish to remain

when all the chaff has been blown off into the wind we gather around

and stare at the grains

but the loss and hearthache remains

flying freely in the wind

searching for a place to land

untethered to the basket and the grain

released to do what they will

A THOUSAND DOORS

what is that creature

lurking around the corner?

does it have a face

a name

a life it lived before now?

she shrieks her cry into the rainy dusk

leaves scratches on my back

underwear on my floor

and a revelation in my mind

a spiraling vortex leads me away from sanity into a world where we become one

a world where the owl and the mouse are caught up in their perpetual game

inescapable

i have discovered what you are

you are the loss of reason

the deconstruction of plans

that force which wishes to derail me

push me into a different life

you are the path changer

and so i flee into the arms of something else

routine

normalcy

a past life

and i try hard not to look back

but the cities of the plains call my name

plead their case

scream it to the wind

their cry is effective

my shell cracks

my morality sloughs away

wet jeans after a summer storm

and i am bare

i race back to that corner where i met you

where i hope to see

your face

your beauty

everything that i have built up in my head that i know can't be wrong

i move as a pillar of salt

but when i reach that place

when i turn to see you there

when i finally open my eyes

the nest is empty

you have taken flight

it could have been joy

we

we could have been ecstasy

but i misled my emotions into faulty decision making

i mismanaged the one facet of my life i thought i had tied down

i was awash in confusion

lost in retribution

and stuck at that one point in time

but was it the end

had i finally found solitude enticing

or was it just a missed opportunity

one door that closes as a thousand more swing wide